Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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