Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
