I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
