This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Randomize
