I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
