she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
pray to the hookup gods
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize