why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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