So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
