i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
ttyl tear gas
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
