I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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