Have you finally orgasmed yet?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
