I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
