I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
