My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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