You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
