their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
