you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
A bitchslap is in order.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
