so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Randomize
