He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
