I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
