I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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