Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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