My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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