Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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