Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
