conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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