He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
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