a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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