Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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