Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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