you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
