i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize