His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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