tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
