turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
