used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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