You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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