I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
