Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
