I'm really into asian looking animals
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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