Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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