South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
