If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
