my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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