Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
