He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize