I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
