his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
