I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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