Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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