was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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