ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
do herpes really smell.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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