Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
