Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
