do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
