There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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