The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
