Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
